Let It All Out

Expressing your anger could actually help your relationship. The key to a happy relationship is that it’s not always best to forgive and forget.

Researchers from Florida State University say that even though it is uncomfortable to have arguments or to get into conflict, in the long run it can benefit the health of the relationship.

James McNulty, associate professor at the University of Tennessee, says that in all relationships there are moments when a partner transgresses (it may be financially irresponsible, unfaithful, or unsupportive behaviour). It is these examples when letting the anger out leaves the door open for forgiveness.

If one holds onto the anger it can boil over and cause irreparable damage to the relationship. You feel lighter when you have shared your thoughts with your partner, and you know that your partner is aware that his/her actions are causing you distress.

The question here, is how do you express your anger in a healthy way? According to Mike Fisher, Author of “Beating Anger: the Eight-Point Plan for Coping with Rage”, simply saying to your partner that you are angry is the way to do it. “I feel angry with you, and I need to be listened to, feel valued, appreciated and respected”. It is important to leave any drama or verbal abuse out of the conversation.

Always remember:

o   Transgression in a relationship is inevitable.

o   Expressing your anger in a clear and calm way is important.

o   Containing your anger can be detrimental to your relationship.

o   Clear the air by expressing your anger, and you will feel lighter and open the door for forgiveness.

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