I want to thank you for all your hard work and effort during the course which I attended pre-christmas. It was very enjoyable and informative and has been hugely helpful to me since then. My family relationships have improved as a result of my creating space between the emotions that arise within me and the responses that I make. Also, due to my better managing of the tsunami of thought that roars through my head on occasion, my home is a marginally more peaceful place for my family to live in. I want to thank you for that.Since then I have bought and given out 9 copies of your book as presents to people I know. The feedback and commentary is very positive. People appreciate being given a tool to help them.” Anon
Hi Mike. I am the girlfriend of a participant and I just want to say a huge thank you to you. He is able to cope with his anger alot better these days and it is allowing for much better communication between us. He told me you are not feeling good about a girl leaving the course. Just to say so far you have a success story here and maybe her time was not right.I hope he will be able to carry on working with you in some way or other. I know he is dreading leaving the course. He is an incredibly evolved character, as you no doubt found out, and I see him teaching this kind of thing one day. Maybe you can help steer him in a direction that helps him mentor people too. Thank You again. You are a toptastic bloke. I hope to meet you one day. Anon
When I said you changed my life yesterday – I meant it. I know there is still lots of work to do but you gave me the chance to breathe again and start to see life with new eyes. I trusted you and it worked and I’ll ALWAYS be grateful to you, really grateful….. I don’t believe anyone else could have helped the same. That’s my genuine belief” Anon
I attended a six day understanding anger course, what a fascinating subject Anger is, you have to learn so much about yourself and how your Anger is triggered to be more self aware of why others display Anger in the ways they do. Parents that have attended the Understanding Anger for Parents have been amazed at the content and how simple a complex subject matter can be to take home and reflect on. Calmness and healthy anger can be expressed much better when we can comprehend it better and understand the primary needs that each of us needs to feel. My own family have benefited as they have all attended a course that gives them a clear insight into Anger and it’s guises. Kate Subanney
*My thoughts following 14 weeks of individual Anger Management therapy with Mike Fisher:* I can honestly say that the changes I and others around me have noticed in my understanding and ability to access the tools necessary to present and appropriately contain the anger that used previously to erupt in boiling, bubbling torrents of lava from me have reshaped my existence for the better! A cynic by nature, I was unsure of this course’s potential effectiveness as I booked up the sessions; these doubts ebbed away under the charismatic, empathetic, totally human and knowledgeable one-man support system that is Mike Fisher! At work, my manager has congratulated me upon my improved ability to stop, consider, think and engage with colleagues and her so much more effectively and appropriately when under pressure or stressed than I managed to in the past; my young son who on occasion suffered my wrath when stressed is so much more obviously at ease with me even during testing times and I feel has a much more appropriate role model in me now, and my friends and other family members have marvelled at my newly realised ability to respond calmly and thoughtfully to the most trying of situations during what continues to be a horribly testing time for me. Cheap Mr Fisher’s sessions are not; but if like me you believe you get what you pay for in life when it comes to certain important things like food, shoes and health, then this is money you cannot afford not to spend if you are serious about learning how to manage your own anger more acceptably and effectively! Anonymous
“Since attending the course I have been incredibly calm. The weekend was very well worth the time, effort, and expense. I realised how group therapy is an excellent mechanism to resolve your personal problems. That was worth the entry fee in itself!” Steve, January
Comments from past participants
“There is nothing I can think of to improve this course. Everything was so good. This has been a life saver for me. From the initial thought of needing to do the course, to the interaction with the facilitators, to getting here. The content of the course has been inspirational. I only regret I didn’t learn this stuff when younger – it really should be taught at schools. Thank you.”
“The quality of the course was a function of both the attendees and the lecturer. Our course was superb in every respect. I was moved by the honesty shown by all.” “The course has helped me to understand other people’s and my own emotions. I particularly wish I’d learned about feelings in this way earlier in my life.”
“Paula is good at what she does and makes you feel comfortable.” “Thank you – I have really learned about myself, what works and what needs repair and development.”
“I learned to recognise different types of anger, stress, and where my anger came from, have this was reflected on to my wife. I could have done with this awareness earlier in my life.”
“This awareness should be compulsory in the educational curriculum.”
“I have achieved massive amounts on how to express my anger, and I think the facilitator was very good at helping me understand a lot about anger management.”
“I learned a lot during the course about my own self and others. The course was well designed and well delivered.”
“Things are going well…………I got through the Christmas break without getting really angry, the only time I felt angry I was able to step away and calm down. So the holiday went well. I have used the “speech” a few times but I think that now with my son I get the blank stare of “here he goes again…” but I do think that with time he will start to realise that it is a discussion tool and that once I have had my say he may then want to discuss his feelings. I feel a lot more positive about myself, more self respect.” (Jan 2011 after Dec 2010 one day Parents course)
“Most valuable course to attend, parents went away with a tool kit of ways to help them to understand their own anger and how to deal with their own children’s anger too. We had full attendance on the day which showed how parents valued the learning and how to change their behaviour towards their children. The group bonded well and felt to share their issues with other parents in a safe environment, they also felt they were not alone with their parenting problems.
They learnt how to describe their emotions and describe their feelings better and this would help them to use this with their children so they can gain emotional literacy and well-being.”
“By the end of the 7hr course I saw the light bulb switch on in parents heads, about the changes they were going to make at home to enhance their relationships with their children, and improve their families well-being.”
Development and Commissioning Manager
Early Intervention, Prevention and Parenting Support, Ealing Council
Understanding Anger for Parents, 28 Nov 2009
It has been 4 months since I attended the BA2 Anger Management course. My feelings immediately after the course were of intense joy, relief and liberation, which came from being able to understanding my anger, the triggers of my anger, and how to manage my behaviours more effectively.
Four months on, and the intensity of those feelings has mellowed into a more realistic view of how to apply, and where necessary adapt, the techniques and experiences from the course into my everyday life.
I have been good at applying some things, and not so good at applying others. But that is OK, as the work is on-going, part of my re-vitalised journey through life.
Everything I have applied so far though has had an amazing and positive effect on my life, and on those around me.
There are still situations which result in me feeling anger. But that is OK, because I have come to realise that feeling anger is a natural part of me, and probably a natural part of being human. Before the course however, the menu of choices I had in dealing with that anger were limited to repressing it, or behaving angrily towards others. Since the course, the menu of choices I have has increased to include a wide range of more healthy and satisfying options. And repressing my anger, or getting angry at people are off that menu.
Thank you, again, to everyone at BAAM for helping me achieve this!
Mike B: BA2 July 2009
I would just like to say I found the course very good, I wish I had gone on a course like this years ago. I hope now I can apply the things I have learned and make a difference to myself and my children’s lives. The course tutors were excellent.
“Having just attended one of the courses offered by BAAM, I can honestly say it was one of the most transformative, inspirational and life-affirming experiences of my life. From the moment I spoke with Lynne on the phone, her warm and soothing manner put me at ease, and the efficiency with which she dealt with my application was second to none. I would also like to thank all the “behind-the-scenes” team that I didn’t meet, who help Mike and the other facilitators do a fantastic job. As for Mike himself, words alone cannot describe the wisdom, warmth and expertise with which he guided, taught and gently but firmly challenged us to face our own demons and learn how to start turning them into our own personal angels – it is something that has to be experienced to be believed!
To everyone involved, including the other participants, I thank you for your openness, for your unconditional acceptance, for your inspiration, and for simply being there, in the moment.
But most of all I would like to thank you for allowing me to give back to my family the husband and father they deserve, and for giving me back a life much richer, happier and meaningful than the one I went in with.
The practical techniques I learned on the course, together with the deeper lessons I have learned, and will keep learning about myself, have allowed me to see that this is my life’s work: to continue to apply the techniques and the lessons every day, and carry on the work started on
the course- though from the vantage point of having completed the course it is as much a celebration of life as it is work.”
Mike B: BA2 July 2009
“The anger management weekend was brilliant for me – professionally as a counsellor Mike inspired me with his authenticity, his boldness, his interventions that turned peoples’ lifes around, and his humour that lightened everybody’s burden – he is a great facilitator and personally to be reminded that setting clear boundaries is helpful to me and those around me, and most of all that I dont have to take things personally, it made me skip home.”
Malai, counsellor Bristol
“Many thanks for such a fantastic course and how I wish I had found it before.
To say I feel a weight has been lifted from my shoulders is an understatement. Following the course I now understand my anger in far more detail than I ever could have wished and in addition have a series of tools that have already been put to test and are serving me incredibly well.
I appreciate that this is very much on going work but could not feel better equipped for the challenges ahead. Many thanks again.”
Kit. BA2: Jan 09
“I am a registered psychotherapist who has trained with Mike Fisher. I am medically diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder because of my anger (mixed with depression). For years, I was consumed with alternating periods of rage and depression. Through extensive psychotherapy self-analysis, I have come to learn that these cycles are natural highs and lows for me. They still occur, but markedly less so.
Mike Fisher’s intensive training programme has enabled me to accept my anger as a natural, biological response to the circumstances presented to me. But further, and more significantly, I have learned how to express my anger in a healthy rather than a destructive way, and I carry this work forward with my clients.
There is, in my opinion, too much stigma attached to anger. Anger is a feeling that is equally as valuable as other feelings such as happiness and sadness. The problem for our society is one of inappropriate expressions of anger, often experienced or viewed as explosive anger.
Much worse, in my opinion, is “anger turned inward”, whereby someone dare not express their anger. So they “implode” and damage themselves rather than risk damaging anyone else. We learn the 5 basic anger styles (intimidator, interrogator, winder-upper, victim, distancer) as children and we carry them forward into our adult lives. I can be (and have been) all of these styles depending on how I perceive the “power balance” in that moment. The one style that we generally tend to associate with anger is that of the intimidator. It is the style that gets all the bad press in the form of violent, physical, aggressive anger. I have been that style. I feel shame about it, but I can openly own it. But anger does not equal aggression. Someone can be aggressive without feeling in any way angry, and we need to identify this more clearly.
Anger is the single motivator that empowers people to respond to the hurt, sadness, shame and fear they may feel in any situation. I consider myself to be normal rather than abnormal. And Mike Fisher’s programme has helped me to discover this about myself.”
Kevin Barrett, Manchester 2008
“I am a person who has not had an easy upbringing ( as you know ! ). However, I have endeavoured to improve myself and move on in life and through the years I suppose in some ways I thought I had. After all, I had become well known for my own work and practices in anger management and managing aggressive and violent behaviours within the healthcare services. Nevertheless, not up until I attended your beating anger workshops and your diploma in anger management at the British Association of Anger Management did I realise how little in fact I had. Therefore, I want to take this opportunity Mike to thank you in particular, but also the other group members from the April 2005 Cohort. The memories and experiences of those many times we spent together sharing our past, present and future lives to be, will always remain with me. Thanks again!”
Jack Walker, Senior University Lecturer.
“Just a quick note to pass on my gratitude to you and your administrative colleagues, and of course to Mike and Helena again, for the superb course that I attended this weekend. Enormously helpful / enjoyable, and very much looking forward to putting some of the useful tools I picked up into practice. Thanks again, very much appreciated!”
Patrick, London Nov 2008
“I would like to take the opportunity to thank everyone who participated in making the weekend, the most significant journey of self discovery that i have every been on and i understand that in no small part you are to be thanked also. Mike Fisher is truely a remarkable man and through his stewardship this weekend i am encouraged to take the course further. Onced again my warmest thanks.”
M. Grant, Oct 2008
“I just wanted to let you know, I have just finished your book ‘Beating Anger’, and it has been a revelation! For years I have been passive-aggressive without even realising it. I have dealt with numerous situations appallingly because of it (the most recent I’ve nearly had a nervous breakdown over it!) and have been wracked with guilt and regret over the way I express my anger.
I have also identified a few major negative core beliefs that I believe have been holding me back and filling me with resentment, and because of them have placed ridiculously high expectations on myself and others, and have also become very judgemental.
Your book, combined with a positive thinking seminar I recently attended, will now help me to overcome these issues and become the person I want to be. Thank you!”
C.L – 2008
“I know I said this on Sunday but I really wanted to let you know that I left the course feeling as though a million light switches have been tripped in my head. The amazing thing for me is that I had acknowledged the problem for many years and whilst I have carried the tools I now know that I needed the instruction on how to use them. You provided a moment of realisation that I have never encountered before. I have spent years as an aggressive and explosive character and am now aware that this stems from the adversarial relationship I have with myself, not those around me upon whom I have heaped much misery and negativity with my outrageous outbursts. There I have said it. Years of denial and the answer has arrived over the course of two days – I have a great deal of toxic shame to deal with.
Since Sunday I have felt far less tense and far less twitchy (the amazing thing is, I have spent most of my life with a whole range of nervous tics and these subsided very early into the course and have so far remained that way). I feel as though a peace has descended upon me now that I have made the first step on this significant and life changing journey.
Anon, Southwark, London July 2008
“I know that thank you’s were said on Sunday, and tears were shed, but now after time for reflection I would like to make sure you all know how great it was to be present.
Please convey my thanks to Mike and Linda for making the whole weekend so worthwhile and such a safe place to be able to find out so much about oneself.
I feel peaceful, powerful and even an element of joy, which I have not felt for long long time. I keep finding myself grining its weird!!!
Thank you form the bottom of my heart, you are wonderful people.”
C.Cosgrove, Shropshire March 2008
“I took part on the 2 day residential BAAM anger management course in December 2007. I can truly say that it was the catalyst to change my life. Mike was a terrific tutor and gave an insight into the causes of anger, the effect that it has on your body, different types of anger, how to control it and also that anger is not always a bad thing. The course was something that I was persuaded to do, and afterwards I really felt the rewards and I hope that the people around me have done too. Thanks Mike.”
Navina, Dec 2007
“I have been meaning to check in with you for weeks. A big thank you for the weekend – it was an extraordinary time, very powerful, very revealing and for me a watershed in learning how to manage my anger. Thankfully I could see early on how hard this journey is going to be and how much consistency is needed to get there. I am keeping a journal, but not writing it enough, I am checking in when I remember, but slipping when life gets frantic. These tools are so useful, but boy do you need to keep at it and is it easy to slip. I am in touch with some of the support group but will contact everyone eventually. People just love the idea of a quick fix and you know despite being really hard this journey is one that has moments of great reward. Like when I did the detour method with my husband and put to rest something I had reacted to with fear and anger for years with out knowing why. Now I will not get so upset by water fights ever again and my kids can enjoy them with out having a scared /angry mummy hovering around. Keep up the great work. With sincerest thanks for sharing your knowledge and insight.”
Diane, London July 2007
“I just wanted to drop you a note on progress to date. I have had a few “flare-ups” since attending the course, but they have not been anywhere near as bad as in the past and I am finding the AM Toolkit works well in most cases. I have also addressed some of the issues that were causing me stress, namely I have stopped seeing the girl who was messing me around, I have just landed myself a much better job and will be moving to the outskirts of London and away from city commuting, which has to be better for my health and sanity! Thank you for all your help and guidance. I can (as well as others) see a big positive change in my personality.” Greg, London September 2006″As soon as I walked in the door last night I was expected to fill my husband’s emotional tank! I could practically feel my own energy being drawn out of me! No wonder I’ve been getting increasingly tired recently!
I’m so glad that all I experienced over the weekend has confirmed the work I had started on myself a few years ago, but hadn’t noticed I’d allowed to be shut down again. The realisations are still going on today – in fact, I’m trembling with them.”
So I’d like to say T H A N K Y O U, again to you and ALL THE TEAM.Jenny, Herts July 2006″Thanks for the weekend. It came at just the right time. I wasn’t able to clear face to face with Boss, but did manage to do so by e-mail. Subsequent passage of time has revealed that his view of the situation was incorrect. Before I would have got sad and hurt, but having cleared two things happened. The first was that I found I could understand his vunerabilty much more easily and be more compassionate. The second thing as that each of the managers who were invovled in overloading me spent the last week avoiding responsibility. As they didn’t talk to each other (one of the main stressors for me) they ended up contradicting each others view of events and the facts as presented by those independant of the situation. This has been absolutely hilarious to observe. All of this helped me to come to a greater equilibrium and trust in my own perceptions as being good enough.”Ruth, London June 2006
“This class is saving my Entire Life from devestation. It is rocking my world that was near callapse due to not being able to deal constructively with my anger. Why I was not taught the skills I am learning within the course at school I will never understand. These skills are for life and without them life has been very hard to deal with. To me this is Evolution at its very best. Four years of counselling, all I needed was to realise Anger is my Friend and we will get along just great!”
Danny, London May 2006
“A belated thank you for the course that I attended a couple of weeks ago.I am sure you hear this very often but I really did find it hugely enlightening and motivational also. A great relief to see that other people struggle with things in the same way that I do and that if I follow what really are simple steps I should be able to become a better person to be with.
Since coming home I must say that i have been very relaxed and have been able to take things in my stride. A couple of pressure points have come up but I have been able to deal with them in a constructive way. I have noticed if I am likely to be starting down the road of dumping on someone else through keeping my anger in – whilst I have not felt the need to
“clear” with anybody I have been able to step back and look at the big picture and above all not take these things personally. Something that I had been trying to do previously but always found very challenging.
Anyway – a very big thank you to you and your team once again. I look forward to coming on the follow up course.
Many thanks once again.”
Cameron, Milan March 2006
“I really want you to know that my life has completely changed around..completely..I haven’t won the lottery or found the love of my life etc but what I learnt will stay with me for life. Ninety percent of the depression I felt all my life completely disappeared..I can’t explain it..I’m hardly angry and if Iam ..I detect my behaviour pattern more easily and gain control again and i’m also ore in tune with what my body and emotions are telling me.
I know I will commit to seeking professional therapy, counselling…whatever it takes for my daughter not to repeat the cycle that I was repeating. I’m commited to talking about depression and anger by personal experience and how it spilled over in every area of my life. I can’t thank you enough.”
Gina, Birmingham February 2006
“I commissioned Mike Fisher to train us in Anger Management because I felt that as frontline public servants, my team of Housing Support Officers, who work with emotionally distressed and often angry people would benefit from acquiring more skills in dealing with such a client group. Mike explained in our initial conversation that the team would need to understand their own anger before being able to learn techniques on how to dissipate or defuse their client’s anger. Following both tranches of the training my personal view, which was echoed by the other staff on the course, was that the course had provided an excellent insight into why we behave in the manner that we do. While accepting that anger is a perfectly natural human emotion there are techniques to be learned and practised that would enable us to express our anger in much less destructive ways. The course has equipped us with the skills to diffuse people expressing their anger to us, whether in a personal or professional context.
The consensus view from my team was that the course should be universally available to the rest of the housing service and indeed any service that meets members of the public. It also had the unexpected bonus of being a team building exercise and has undoubtedly brought the team closer together.
I would strongly recommend this course.”
Housing Support Service Manager
London Borough of Barnet – August 2005
“I am Michael’s favorite aunt, so I am biased in his favour! If you had known the beautiful, loveable, smiling, clumsy, “stupid” (as we thought – before learning about dyslexia) little boy that I knew, you would realize how far he has progressed in his life. How he has overcome his difficulties, how he hid his shame and unhappiness behind a laughing face. I have learned so much from his book. I didn’t realize that I was angry when I said that I was “irritated” by my husband, or complained that my “children (30+) were telling me what to do!
Mike has written in such a conversational style, that you feel you are sitting face to face with him.
In Hebrew I would say “Kol Hakavod” Michael – all honor to you. I love you.”
Toni Calo, Mike Fisher’s Aunt, Israel – October 2005
“A full year after completing your weekend residential course, I wanted to write to tell you how it has transformed my life for the better. The past twelve months have been the most fulfilling of my life. My ability to manage my anger (I have not once regressed into rage) and to deal with my emotions ‘intelligently’ has unleashed the most extraordinary positive energy that has immeasurably benefited my mental and physical health, family relationships, friendships and work. I would one day very much like to study for the Diploma as I am truly evangelical about the programme’s benefits to fellow ‘angerholics’. I owe so much to your guidance and encouragement – and to BAAM’s wonderful ethos. Thank you so much.”
Tony, London – September 2005
“Can’t thank you enough for my life changing weekend, I shall be evangelizing
your work and handing out your business cards!”
Lara, London – March 2004
“It might sound a bit glib to suggest that this will be the defining moment for the rest of my life; but I genuinely believe this to be the case. The shadowing illustrated to me the reasons why I get angry in particular situations and the detour method allowed me to understand my attitude towards my relationship with my wife and that this was all down to the ‘baggage’ that I was carrying around from years ago. For the first time I understand that I don’t have to get angry. I could not have been more impressed by your insight and your ability to understand and empathise with all the individuals in the group and their issues. I look forward to meeting you again and to able to say to you face-to-face “I CAN control my anger” Something that I never thought I would ever be able to say (and genuinely mean). Thank you.”
“Mike is undoubtedly the most knowledgeable and intuitive therapist I’ve ever met. His honest, assertive approach is both inspiring and empowering. He uses reflective techniques as well as offering practical strategies. This combination provided me with clear direction and the clarity of thought that I had previously lacked. I now feel calmer and more confident than ever before and all the important people in my life have also benefited from my renewed energy and optimism. I also finally agree that anger is a gift!”
Jo,Surrey – December 2004
“I think you the work you do is wonderful. I can’t believe how much I have benefited from it. It’s the best decision I have ever made. I’m really gonna miss our Wednesday nights but I have made some very special friends. Thank you once again.”
“I have tried many things, but this is the most concrete method/ pathway and the only one to have made a difference. I’m happier than I’ve been for years and it gets better the more I use the programme.”
“I’ve opened up a whole new way of dealing with my own and other people’s anger. I feel empowered with the new depth of understanding I have of myself and have a good deal more empathy when dealing with other people. My own training work has doubled as a result of doing the course.”
CiCi, Freelance Lifeskills Trainer, London
“Having worked in betting shops for twelve years I was regularly confronted by angry and sometimes rageful individuals. I would either rage back at them or grin and bear it and then take my unexpressed anger home to the people I love most. Having had enough of the pain I got on to an anger management programme with B.A.A.M. This transformed my life and my relationships. I am now able to understand my feelings and express them appropriately and to the right person. I got so much out of the course I decided to become an Anger Management trainer myself!”
Andrew, Anger Management Consultant, Herts
“As I got older, I saw a pattern in the breakdown of many of my personal relationships. The course helped make me realise I wasn’t a freak. I’ve learned that anger is often a symptom of previous events – usually from childhood. I started to see why I was angry and where it came from.”
Ingrid, Nurse & Complementary Therapist
“Some people can’t control their anger. Other people can’t begin to express it. Either way, BAAM can help.”