I am often asked this question. What the questioner often really means is, are men more angry than women?

I’ll tell you what I know to start with. Our courses are made up of about 40% women. I also know that in terms of the root causes of a person’s anger they can affect men and women alike.

So why are there proportionately less women on our courses?

My informed opinion is that it is a mainly social or societal factors that cause this. Despite the emancipation of women caused by the likes of Emily Pankhurst and the revolution in women’s rights led by those including Germaine Greer true equality does not exist. Women will find it difficult to justify payment and time away from their family for course like ours when compared to their male counterparts. Also, despite theoretical equality is in play, it is viewed differently for a woman to explode with anger as opposed to a man. In reality, simply in terms of whether they are able to express themselves as freely as a man can they are not on equal terms. This, of course, can be a source of deep seated anger and resentment especially if both partners are under pressure. Furthermore because greater control, or at least less aggression, is expected of women then there is likely to be more suppression of anger being experienced by them. This is certainly my experience as women join our groups and tell their stories of years of stuffing their anger inside themselves before finally starting to explode with anger.

Remember, very few of our clients come to us expressing, and being conscious of expressing, passive anger which is just as damaging to relationships. They only come when they explode leaving their  aggression to infects others and people point out to them they have an issue controlling their anger. That really is the subject of another blog.

Another factor that stops women coming to our courses is the shame that being angry carries with it. We know that everyone who attends the course does so in a state of some anxiety and this is increased for women. This is doubled or more if they have been letting their anger out on their children.

The final stereotype that we have been told holds women back from attending our courses is that they perceive the room to be full of angry, aggressive men. The fact is of course that I have never worked with anyone yet who I have not found to be likeable, normal, and a genuine meaningful human being. The factors that bring us all together may be wide ranging, difficult to acknowledge and disparate in their nature but we are all, at heart humans.

So, are women more angry then men? I don’t think so. They just need to give themselves permission to be so and to seek the help that is there for them.